What it’s like to know more than you’re allowed to say

For most of my life, I had the quiet sense of being slightly outside the room.

Close enough to participate, but working harder to stay there.
Things that seemed manageable for other people cost me more. Ordinary demands stacked up quickly. Recovery took longer than I expected it to. I learned how to compensate early — how to look capable, how to smooth over strain, how to keep going long after it stopped feeling sustainable.